Parenting is the most difficult job, most critical work in the world but also the most enjoyable, most beautiful one. Only we should learn some tips and techniques to make the journey of parenting enjoyable, memorable and easier. 9 Golden Tips of Parenting for the Parents of Children and Adolescents are shared here to reduce the anxiety, tension and worries in the journey of Parenting.
1. Never Compare your Children with Other Children.
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We should never compare our children with other children, every child is unique like the flowers of the garden. Can we compare Hibiscus or Rose? We cannot, both the flowers are beautiful. Similarly all the children are beautiful, talented, superb on their own ways, we cannot compare them. Comparison only create stress, anxiety, Inferiority Complex among the children and they cannot bloom on their fullest.
2. Always Listen to your Children.
It is the most important step for positive parenting, we should always Listen to our children. It is not the plain act of listening but also the reflective listening. The parents should listen to their children- the problem or difficulties faced by their children and adolescents , their achievements in academic, co-curricular or sports field, their feelings regarding any event or situation or people, even the story of their daily activities. This effective listening always stronger the bond between parents and children and parents will be truly familiar with the type or personality of the children, with the emotions and feelings of the children and also can teach them lessons of life.
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3. Never Force your Children to Fulfill your Dreams.
“Our Children are through us but not for us.” Yes, they are our children but they are completely different from us. They are the separate individual with their own interests, likes and dislikes, merits and demerits, they have their own dreams, own wishes, own journey of life. So we should never force them to achieve our unfulfilled dreams, our unfulfilled desires. But we should help them to fulfill their desires, their dreams. Let them fly high to touch their Dreams.
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4. Try to Make them Disciplined but Never Give Punishment to them.
It is necessary to make the children disciplined, to make them to do their daily chores in time, to help them to do their studies and other co- curricular activities also but we should never use “Punishment ” as the weapon to make them Disciplined. Yes, sometimes it is difficult for the parents to handle their children, to deal with their various issues, to teach them the lessons of discipline. But , then also the parents should not use punishment towards their children or adolescents because punishment only crate fear, anxiety, stress among them; they don’t learn the lessons of discipline- they are forced to behave in certain type of behavior. Thus punishment lowers their self- confidence, self-esteem, their natural responses and make them the dependent one.
5. Always Open the Doors of Communication Open.
The parents should always open the Doors of Communication towards their children. Your children may do mistakes, may do mess but your duty is to help them to rectify their mistakes, help them to choose between right and wrong, between good and bad. Always the parents start to scold their children for their mistakes, give them punishment and stop talking with them. But these always make the situation more and more critical, make your children more and more vulnerable .
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6. Don’t Fulfill their Demands Immediately.
The children and adolescents always want many things from their parents- it may be some play items, may be some books, may be the permission to learn any new skill like music or painting, may be the permission to go somewhere with their friends etc. But the parents should look at the whole matter very seriously, try to find out the relevance of the need and then give permission. For example, a boy reading in class V demands for a I-phone to his parents who are lawyers by profession. They have the capacity to buy an I-phone for their children. But I-phone is not necessary for a 10 years old boy, is not it? So the parents should not give the phone to him. Thus the parents should justify the actual need, the consequences and then fulfill their child’s demands.
7. Never Create any “Exchange Method” between you and your children.
Never make a method of exchanging gifts, rewards or other between your relationship with your children. Never say to them like that ” if you get more than 90 percent in all subjects, I shall give you a Laptop. ” Or” If you can excel in your school level Drawing competition, we will go for a vacation “. You should encourage your children, your adolescent boy or girl for good performance in academic or other fields but never make a deal with them related to their performance, their achievements and your Love and Care towards them. Love them unconditionally.
8. Never be a “Helicopter Parent”.
The parents are the primary caregivers of their children, they are always in tension regarding their children. The parents always want to give the best facilities, best things to their children and also want that their children will excel in all fields. But the children especially the teenagers need some free time – some time of their own to explore themselves. But if the parents always focus on themselves, always “hover on their head”, it is actually impossible for the children to explore, to learn and to grow. So Dear Parents, don’t be a Helicopter Parent.
9. Teach your Children to Accept Failures also.
From the childhood, the parents should teach their children to accept not only the success but also the failures . Success and failures, good times and bad times, ups and downs are the parts of the life. If the children learn from the early phases of their life that failures are the part and parcel of our life, they will learn to accept “Failures ” and learn the lessons of life from their failures. This is one of the most important lessons of life that a parent must teach to their children to assure their actual growth and development in their life.
Thus the parents can help their children to internalize many important lessons of life. The journey of Parenting is quite challenging, full of excitement and also despair. So , we , the parents should always be flexible to learn several innovative ways of Parenting to enhance our Parenting skill. This 9 Golden Tips of Parenting will be really beneficial for the parents of all age groups.