Major parenting Mistakes to Avoid
Parenting is the most precious journey, most beautiful journey in someone’s life but at the same time the most complex one- the most challenging one. That’s why, we, the parents often commit so many mistakes unknowingly to raise our children and sometimes these mistakes are too serious to ignore as it may give traumatic experiences to our children for the lifelong period. Due to the parenting mistakes, the children often grown up with low self-confidence, low self-esteem and face several mental health issues throughout their life.
15 Major Parenting Mistakes to Avoid
Table of Contents:
Here some most common parenting mistakes which actually need proper attention to rectify or avoid is discussed here in order to ensure the maximum growth of the children. A Research in social and behavioral sciences in 2016 found that parenting mistakes are the major factors to increase communication difficulties in children. Often Parenting Mistakes raise the children as dependent, confused and helpless adults, so, we should identify those mistakes and try to avoid these. The 23 no’s major Parenting Mistakes are as stated below-:
Too Many Expectations from the Children
Often the parents have too many expectations from their children- they want that their children will do excellent academic result always and also excel in other activities like singing, dancing, painting or drama. Not only that their children will do well in several sports like cricket, football or badminton and also will be a good swimmer. The parents are expecting that the children will always listen to them and never express their views – the child will behave always like a good boy or good girl. But actually, this type of too many expectations from the children are abnormal- these are putting only extra pressure on children and put them in a stressed situation and this is a major parenting mistakes to be avoided.
Be a Perfectionist Always
Don’t be a perfectionist always- it is very tough for the children to do work in a perfect way like the adults. So, do not put pressure on them to do works in the most perfect way- do not scold them if they do any kind of mistakes while doing any activity- you can help them to do the works in a proper way and praise them for their efforts. If you always want most perfect work from them, then it is not possible for them to give and also they will lose their interest on that activity. Moreover, in this way the parents will lower the self-confidence, self-esteem of their children and the children may also suffer from Inferiority Complex.
Not Listening to Children
The most significant Parenting mistake is not Listening to the words of children, never give value to the feelings of children. often the children want to say something about their feelings, their emotions, their likes and dislikes about something or some situations but most of the time we, the parents, just ignore their feelings- don’t actively listen to them or listening unattentively and putting our own views upon their expressions. Then those children just cover themselves with a shell and don’t want to share their feelings with their parents. only by listening to our children, we- the parents can solve most of the issues of them.
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Comparing of your Children with Other Children
The parents should never compare their children with other children- this type of comparison severely affect the mental health of the children. The parents who are always comparing their children with others actually lowering the self-confidence, self- esteem of their children and those children are also suffering from Inferiority Complex. They have lack of faith on themselves, less courage and they are always dependent on others. So, the parents should never compare your child with other child as each child is unique and special in their own way.
Hiding the Faults of the Children
The parents should never hide the faults, the mistakes of their children- this is one of the major parenting mistakes which has immense effect on moulding the personality of the children. Making mistakes, doing mess are too normal for the children as they are in the phase of learning the lessons of life. The parents should always help them to rectify their faults and mistakes rather than hiding the faults.
Instantly Fulfilling their Demands
It is one of the major mistakes of the parents to fulfill the demands of their children immediately without discussing about the needs of it. For example, if a child reading at class v makes demand for a computer for his daily use, then the parents first should justify this and fulfill his demand because a child of class V can use his father’s or mother’s computer in his need. Here, by fulfilling his demand, the parents may make him addicted to online games or others. So, first justify Needs and then Fulfill Demands.
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Giving them Too Much Exposure to Mobile, Laptop or TV
Sometimes the parents give their children too much exposure to mobile, TV or Laptop so that they(the parents) can do their works properly and make them habituated to Screen Exposure. For example, now-a-days the mothers of the young children often give their mobiles to their young children or on the switch of the TV during their feeding times so that the children can take their meal properly. But, this is a most common parenting mistake which makes the children addicted to the use of mobile or TV and later the parents start to scold them for this addiction.
Not Teaching them To Accept their Failures
A big Parenting Mistakes is that not teaching the children to accept their failures. From the childhood, the children should be taught to accept both success and failures equally and to learn the lessons from the failures. If the children do not learn to accept their failures, they will face severe stress, rejection, feeling of neglect in their later life and may face depression or anxiety disorders.
Not giving them Enough Freedom to Explore
Often parents are not allowing sufficient freedom to their children to explore their surroundings to learn the life skills, to be the independent one and also to develop the ability to take decisions in their life. Yes, for the too younger children -we cannot provide too much freedom but from the age of 7-8 years, we may start to give them little bit freedom to take little decisions of their life like eating food in their own hand, choosing the dress to wear, choosing the time of study or artwork etc. this type of freedom really make them independent, responsible and a good decision maker.
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Saying the Words of Praise to Them
Another big Parenting Mistake is that the Parents merely say words of Praise to their children- sometimes your child only needs some words of inspiration- some words of praise from you to boost up themselves- to believe in their abilities. Especially, the Indian parents are very miser in praising their children, but the children can do really well if the parents say some good words about him.
Too Much Praise is also Harmful
Yes, it is very good to praise the children to make them feel good but too much praise is also harmful. The parents should only praise the children for their good deeds, good behavior and good words but they should not praise them all the times especially when the children do wrong things- act in a wrong way or not doing things properly. Too much praise makes the children over-confident and superiority complex which are not beneficial for the growth of the children. That’s why, always showering praise to children is also one of the big parenting mistakes.
Being too Strict to your Children
Sometimes, we, the parents become too strict too our children to make them well-disciplined, well- mannered, responsible and punctual. Is not it? It is our duty to make our children well-mannered and disciplined but sometimes we behave too harsh too them- be too strict to them that our children are afraid of our temperament and they start to go away from us. So, the parents will surely try to make their children disciplined but being too strict to them is also a Parenting mistake.
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Yelling and Punishment are also the Parenting Mistakes
The parents often are bound to yell, shout or scold their children – they are forced to give punishment to their children and thus committing the big parenting mistake. The parents never like to give punishment to their children but they are forced to do this by the activities of the children. But punishment and yelling can never solve any problem, it only make the situation more complex. So, the parents always try to avoid any kind of punishment- whether physical and mental and rectify your parenting mistakes.
Not Spending Quality time with your Children
It is very important for all the parents to spend quality time with the children, quality time means the time that rejuvenate both you and your children. It may be the time of Story -telling or playing together or just be engaging any fun activities. It is the proved fact that spending quality time with the children always make a strong bond between parents and children. If you are not spending quality time with your children, you are really doing one of the major parenting mistakes.
Always Playing the Battles of your Children
Playing the battles of your children instead of preparing them to face their battle is the biggest parenting mistakes of the parents. The parents cannot be always with their children throughout their life, so they should prepare their children to face the difficulties of their life. But, instead of giving courage to children or motivate them, the parents start to fight the children’s battle and make them incapable to face the challenges of life. So, according to me, this is the biggest parenting mistake made by the parents.
Parenting Mistakes can ruin the growth of the children, raise the children as dependent on others and with low self-esteem and low self-confidence. The children who are the victims of Parenting Mistakes often have insecurity issues and they are devoid of the decision-making capacities. Those children are also suffering from anxiety disorders and other mental health issues. So, the parenting mistakes are the roadblocks in the path of maximizing the growth and development of children. Sometimes, the Parenting Mistakes act as the triggers to create tension, anxiety or even the traumatic experience in children. So, according to me, we the parents should identify the parenting mistakes in the journey of parenting and try to rectify these and ensure the healthy growth of our children.
5 thoughts on “15 Major Parenting Mistakes to Avoid in the Year 2023 to Ensure Maximum Growth of Children”
Very informative post Ma’am, especially young people like us who would be parents in coming days. I feel that the attitude of parents that “boro hoile sikhbo/boro hoile bujhbo” is also a serious mistake from their side.
Exactly Saifur, to push the children from the reality by saying that you will learn about this when you grow up is also a big parenting mistake which we should rectify must and prepare the children to face the reality of life. Thanks dear for your precious words. I am really grateful to you for sharing time from your busy schedule. God bless you.